Home » Articles » Table Talk »

Young Child and Kindergartner

Mealtimes used to be like a whirlwind. By the time I put everything on the table, everyone had finished eating. So much for meaningful conversation! Then I tried something new. I invited my twins to help get things ready. They loved it. They didn't just help set the table. They took it one step further. They played restaurant. They made place cards and wrote menus. They took orders. By involving them, dinner wasn't just a meal. It was a special event that they could participate in.

How can you make mealtimes work for your family? Consider these tips that can engage your family in fun and meaningful mealtime conversations that foster your child's language and literacy development.

• Find the time.
  Mealtimes aren't just about eating. Mealtimes provide a time for families to share their ideas, their experiences, and their feelings. Finding time when the whole family can eat together is often the greatest challenge. Be sure to set aside at least a few nights a week for family mealtimes. When you cannot eat together as family, be sure to sit with your child while she eats, so you have time to talk and share together.
• Remove distractions.
  To encourage meaningful talk, remove distractions. Turn off the TV. Turn down the radio. If possible, put the answering machine on, so you can talk to each other--not to a friend or colleague. Also try to have everything ready on the table before you sit down so you don't have to keep popping up to get the milk or the juice or the napkins. When possible, involve your child in the preparation. By creating a relaxing setting, you and your family will have the time to share and laugh together.
• Include everyone in the conversation and practice turn-taking.
  Family mealtime is not just a time for adult conversation. Instead, it should include everyone. By involving everyone, your child will learn about the give and take of conversation. For example, some children may just want to blurt out their thoughts and ideas, interrupting whomever may be talking. By patiently saying, "Hold onto that thought. Zayde is talking now," you can help your child learn about and practice the give and take of conversation.
• Talk and share.
  Mealtime can be a special time for parents and their children, offering them opportunities to talk about things that they think and wonder about. This time allows young and old family members alike to "tell the story" of their days and all the interesting, puzzling, or even frustrating things that happen. Children may also delight in hearing stories about when they (and their parents) were little.
• Ask genuine questions about your child's daily activities and experiences.
  Genuine questions, those to which you don't already know the answer, encourage genuine responses. Sometimes though, very open-ended questions might not lead very far. Parents might ask, "How was camp?" and simply get "good" as the answer. Focusing on specific topics, however, can help generate more meaningful conversation. For example, questions such as, "What did you do in the pool?" or "What books did you read at the library?" might lead to lots of sharing.
• Be a facilitator, not a director.
  If your child initiates conversation about a topic that interests him, follow his lead, rather than trying to engage him in a different topic. For example, if your child mentions a book that he read at share time, you might ask, "What was it about?", "What did you like about it?", "Who was your favorite character?" You might also help him to think about what happened in the story or link the story to his own life by asking, "Does the Nanna in the story remind you of your Nanna? How?" By following your child's lead, you can help your child develop his interests, while deepening his appreciation of stories, words, and new ideas.
• Eat and play.
  Play while you eat. For example, you can invite your child to think about different categories by taking turns playing this game. Name four objects, three of which are in the same category and one object that is different. Then ask your child to name the object that's different from the rest. Other children enjoy solving simple word problems. For example, you might say, "You had three potatoes and Hannah gave you three more. How many do you have now?" Make the problems more challenging as your child gets older. Games such as these can help build your child's listening and problem-solving skills.
• Plan a picnic.
  One way to support your child's interest in the world is to plan family picnics around town or far from home. A picnic at the local playground can become an opportunity to observe and discuss people, animals, or nature. A box lunch at the circus can become an opportunity for your child to learn unique vocabulary words such as "ringmaster," "aerial," and "fierce." By using new words and talking about words, you broaden your child's vocabulary and help her to understand stories and information she hears read aloud.