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First Grader and Reader & Writer

We have some of our best conversations at dinnertime. Sometimes we talk about things that are on our kids' minds. We talk about why people fight, why there have to be wars in this world, how babies are born. But it's not always serious stuff. We also tell funny stories, and our kids tell their favorite jokes again and again and again. These are the times we'll always remember.

How can you make mealtimes work for your family? Consider these tips that can engage your family in fun and meaningful mealtime conversations that foster your child's language and literacy development.

• Find the time.
  Mealtimes aren't just about eating. Mealtimes provide a time for families to share their ideas, their experiences, and their feelings. Finding time when the whole family can eat together is often the greatest challenge. Be sure to set aside at least a few nights a week for family mealtimes. When you cannot eat together as family, be sure to sit with your child while she eats, so you have time to talk and share together.
• Remove distractions.
  To encourage meaningful talk, remove distractions. Turn off the TV. Turn down the radio. If possible, put the answering machine on, so you can talk to each other--not to a friend or colleague. Also having everything ready on the table before you sit down so you don't have to keep popping up to get the milk or the juice or the napkins. When possible, involve your child in the preparation. By creating a relaxing setting, you and your family will have the time to share and laugh together.
• Include everyone in the conversation and practice turn-taking.
  Family mealtime is not just a time for adult conversation. Instead, it should include everyone. By involving everyone, your child will learn about the give and take of conversation. For example, some children may just want to blurt out their thoughts and ideas, interrupting whomever may be talking. By patiently saying, "Hold onto that thought. Zayde is talking now", you can help your child learn about and practice the give and take of conversation.
• Talk and share.
  Mealtime can be a special time for parents and their children, offering them opportunities to talk about things that they think and wonder about. This time allows young and old family members alike to "tell the story" of their days and all the interesting, puzzling, or even frustrating things that happen. Children may also delight in hearing stories about when they (and their parents) were little.
   
• Ask genuine questions about your child's daily activities and experiences.
  Genuine questions, those to which you don't already know the answer, encourage genuine responses. Sometimes, though, questions might not lead very far. Parents might ask, "How was camp?" and get "good" as the answer. Focusing on specific topics, however, can help generate more meaningful conversation. For example, questions such as, "What did you do in the pool?" or "What books did you read at the library?" might lead to lots of sharing.
• Be a facilitator, not a director.
  If your child initiates conversation about a topic that interests him, follow his lead, rather than trying to engage him in a different topic. For example, if your child mentions a book that he read at share time, you might ask questions that encourage your child to go beyond the plot. For example, instead of just asking, "What happened in the story?" you might ask, "What part of the story made you think that the dog would be safe in the end?" or "What makes him a character you like?" By following your child's lead, you can help your child develop his interests, while deepening his appreciation of stories, words, and new ideas.
• Eat and play.
  Play while you eat. For example, you can invite your child to think about different categories by taking turns playing this game. Name four objects, three of which are in the same category and one object that is different. Then ask your child to name the object that's different from the rest. Also invite your child to challenge you in the game of categories. Your child might also enjoy solving simple word problems. For example, you might say, "You had 10 brussel sprouts and Ella gave you 15 more. How many do you have now?" Games such as these can help build your child's listening and problem-solving skills.
• Teach your child a new language.
  Teach your child Pig Latin. Here's how it works. If words start with a consonant, move the consonant or consonant groups to the end of the word. If words start with a vowel, add "way" to the end of the word. For example, "water" in Pig Latin is "aterway," "fork" in Pig Latin is "orkfay," and "egg" in Pig Latin is "eggay." Can you have a mealtime conversation in Pig Latin? By talking in Pig Latin, you and your family will have some fun, while your child also builds an awareness of sounds, an important skill for learning to read.
• Plan a picnic.
  One way to support your child's interest in the world is to plan family picnics around town or far from home. A picnic at the local playground can become an opportunity to observe and discuss people, animals, or nature. A box lunch at the circus can become an opportunity for your child to learn unique vocabulary words such as "ringmaster," "aerial," and "fierce." By using new words and talking about words, you broaden your child's vocabulary and help her to understand stories and information she hears read aloud.